Soothing the savage beast

Monday, 6th April 2009

Normally-placid Jessy was in an emotional upheaval tonight after enduring a slightly unflattering audition for a local summer production of 'Beauty and the Beast'. I did not go with her-- I was attending practice for 'Music Man' and so Mother drove her. For some reason (and probably rightly) they did not have Roger drive them but Mother drove her in the small van. Talk about carrying a low profile! --but the last thing Jessy would have wanted was for Daddy's daughter to arrive in a stretched Cadillac and come prancing in like a superstar in her own mind to show up all the other girls. Not a way to get yourself a fair audition! --and NO, this is only local or regional theatre and there's no way they would have responded positively to an entrance like that. It'd have been thespian suicide.

I do worry that Jessy will think differently now and will be secretly wishing she had had Daddy's notoriety to rely on. I know she likes to pamper herself, even psychologically, even though that's kind of like saying she has an ego. I don't think it's a matter of ego at all. And I don't want her to be in this blaming mode, because all she will blame is herself. There really wasn't much she could have done that she did not do. For one thing there was a little more ballet than she expected and a LOT more jazz dancing. Who knew that ahead of time? --not Jessy. Also, her usually sweet, crystalline voice was a little too hoarse from practice for 'The Music Man' earlier tonight and even giving 100 percent of what she had left for the night she could not have been at her best. Still, as Daddy says, 'silver shines through'. The directing staff are not idiots. If a girl is a good singer and just not singing at her best this very minute, they can tell that. If a girl is cutting out early from rehearsing another show just to make this audition and appears a little stiff or tired, they will give her some credit. Was she at 100 percent? --no. Could she be? --absolutely.

Jessy is no egoist and is guilty only of disappointing her own very high standards. I suppose Daddy feels guilty too, for instilling in both of us such a passion for performing well that we take it too personally sometimes. But it is what it is when you are in a performing-arts family. Mother had the best thing to say about it. 'They're churchgoing Christians,' she said of the director and his staff. 'They're not going to condemn you. It's a chance for you to grow.' (And it is parent-supported teens' theatre. They took Mother's cheque.)

Daddy used to say he preferred to be the worst player in the band, not the best one. If you're the best, there's only one direction you can go. But if there's something to be learnt, and you can learn it, that's a growth opportunity. If you think about it there's really only one of those things to be preferred, and it's the one Jessy has right now.

Jessy's in the shower now, she will go to bed straight away, and we will be at school tomorrow where she will meet some of her friends (at least one of whom is cast in 'B and B' already), and by the time she gets home she will feel better about the whole thing. So I am glad she won't read this blog till at least then. And who knows? --she'll probably get a callback anyway.

Of course if she does not-- well, we have an acting job of our own lined up for this summer, working in our Colonial costumes at our late mother's beloved ice-cream parlour on the New Jersey shore. And no one can cut us from that.

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