Conversation

Wednesday 3 September 2008

When we got back from school Mother was home alone with J.J., since Daddy had gone to get Lisa himself. Jessy and I called hello and went right up stairs to get out of our school things. I was down to my panties when I remembered Mother was sitting outside at the umbrella table beside the pool, I stepped back into my shoes and went down like that

J.J. ran right up when he saw me. 'Janine! Look what I made!'

He had been playing in the sandbox with those oversized Lego bricks and had assembled what he called a house. It was three bricks, but they were assembled pretty creatively. I raved over it and he ran back to the sandbox at the corner of the terrace. 'Did you want anything?' I asked Mother at the table.

'No, sweetheart, I'm fine.' She smiled up at me. After a moment I sat down. 'Well, how was the first day?' she asked me.

I shrugged, doing that thing with both shoulders. It's kind of a cute gesture in a tanktop but I don't know how it looks when I'm not wearing one. 'It was all right....' I leaned back and crossed my legs and happened to look down at them then. 'I was kind of going to ask you something though.'

She closed the book then. 'What is it, sweetie?' She always calls us 'sweetie' --it's her word.

I shrugged again. 'Do you mind it that Jessy and I have been mostly undressed all month?'

Mother laughed. 'No, not at all. It's comfortable, as you said, and it's harmless. You and Jessy have demonstrated that you can be appropriate about it. I don't see anything wrong with it.'

'It doesn't bother you that we're doing that all the time, and... you're... not?'

She smiled at me. 'I'm sure it's a girls' thing, sweetie. Not for someone like me.'

I narrowed my eyes at her, not understanding. She's twenty-six-- she's beautiful in a bikini, I imagine she'd be beautiful out of one, and she's always had a beach-baby tan and that brilliant blonde hair.... She's got nothing to be ashamed of, even after two babies. 'Oh,' I finally said.

'Were you inviting me to join you?'

I looked up and suddenly blushed. I have blushed maybe three times in her presence before. 'No, I wasn't. That is, I mean--' and then I shut up.

She patted my arm. 'It's all right, Janine. I would never impose on your privacy. Besides--' and she smiled-- 'I don't think your father would approve.'

I looked at her then. 'Do you think he doesn't approve of--'

'No, no, it's nothing like that. I'm sure he doesn't mind you two at all. But it's different being a wife.'

I thought about that. 'But you're so beautiful,' I said to her. 'And I'm sure some men would.... You know.'

'Yes. I know.' She patted my arm again. 'And you're sweet to think nice things of me. And I can't say I've never thought of it.'

'Really?'

'I would never do anything to make your father feel uncomfortable,' she told me, 'and I'm perfectly happy with what does make him comfortable. I only hope that you will have a husband like I do some day, and then you will know what it's like... to be treated like a queen.'

I smiled and put my hand over on top of hers, like she usually does to me. 'I'm sure I will,' I said, 'because Daddy is what I think of when I think of what men should be.'

She smiled and caught my hand for a squeeze then. 'Then I know you'll be very happy.' We sat there looking at each other for a long moment and then she said, 'Till then, no one minds if you're getting comfortable with yourself, Janine, you and Jessy both. As I said before, I think it's cute. And there's something very innocent and healthy in it. You two are mature enough to know what's appropriate, and it's been good for little Lisa too. Did you know she has no strap lines either?' And she giggled.

I do adore my stepmother.

...