Recuperation

Sunday 21 September 2008

Gently she pushed the hair of my forehead and I opened my eyes. 'Hey,' she whispered, smiling down at me.

'Mm,' I sighed, and rolled over onto my back, neglecting the covers. It was a little past 7.30 but not chilly.

Jessy was sitting naked on the side of my bed, reaching over to rearrange my hair. 'How is it?' she wondered.

I got to one elbow and we both craned our necks to look at the thick bandage on the side of my breast. 'It's still there,' I said, of the bandage.

'Does it still hurt?'

I thought for a moment. 'Not really.'

She made a cute pouting face at me. 'I wish I could help more.'

I looked up at her and then laid a hand on top of hers, on the bed. 'But you already have helped, so much.'

She nodded. 'Do you want to have a shower before church?'

I shook my head. 'I just want to find something I can wear, you know.'

We stood together in front of my wardrobe for a few minutes and finally decided I could wear a kind of snug tanktop instead of a bra and then something over it. Jessy helped me pull on the tanktop and shirt over my head. I did not look conspicuous and not having to have a bra strap cross right over the bandage was a relief.

After church Daddy wanted to drive over to the airport, just for a ride, and I offered to go with him. Jessy went along because I did. We wandered round the airplanes, Daddy pointing out this and that on each one and Jessy and I wondering if now he wants to get an airplane for himself. Finally Daddy turned to me and said, 'How are you holding up?'

I stopped and looked at him. "I'm fine; why?'

He shook his head, absent-minded, and then turned to wander on a little. We followed. 'I'm sorry about it,' he said. 'I shouldn't have--'

'Wait, Daddy,' I interrupted. 'It's not your fault. If it's anyone's it's mine, because I couldn't carry the thing right.'

'I shouldn't have made you carry it at all.'

'Now Daddy, who else was going to help you?'

'I could have got your mother to do it.'

He always refers our stepmother as 'your mother', even though Mommy was always 'Mommy' to us with him. 'Daddy, no offence, but I am probably stronger than Mother is.'

Jessy nodded at that. 'She is,' she said.

Daddy thought for a moment and then smiled. 'I guess you might be right.' He walked on a little more and then said, 'The stupid contractors should have put the thing away like I asked them to.'

We both nodded at that. He's not usually into blaming other people at all, but as long as he can find a cause for something bad that's happened he can accept it and move past it.

At home I sent e-mails to my friends from HOH and also Audrey and some other cousins, had a nap, helped Mother bake yellow corn muffins and a cake for dessert, and finished my homework for Geometry and German. I ran a bath and Jessy came in to help wash my hair while I held up the plastic under my arm with tape like before. Little Lisa came in, sat on the potty lid with her feet dangling off the floor, and prattled on and on about this and that, not really paying much attention to why the three of us had to be all together and why I even had to be having a bath to begin with. I expect to be able to wear at least something presentable tomorrow for school. I just worry now if I will have a scar, but that is a worry I will NOT share with Daddy.

...