Something in the atmosphere

Tuesday 9 December 2008

After about four days of absolute frigidity it has abruptly gone unseasonably warm. Riding home in the back of the car we felt the air-conditioning on! 'Roger,' Jessy called forward, 'are you feeling okay?' Then we both giggled. Roger only replied that the climate-control system operates on a thermostat-- it's above sixty-five inside the car and it provided cooler air.

At home we went up stairs to our rooms as usual and got out our homework. Mother was out with J.J. getting Lisa as usual. I actually started a fire, just a little, to take the lingering chill off the room, but by the time they got back Jessy and I were both less than dressed and I'd had to open a window. We heard our little sister come in the front door from up here and a few moments later she was trotting up the gallery to her room. I waited for her to call 'I'm home!' as she often does but instead was greeted by a shy voice from the side door. 'Janine?'

'Yes, sweetie,' I called.

'Is that--?' From my dressing area she peered round into my room. 'It is!' she sighed.

'Yes,' I said, realising she had smelt my fire. 'Nice and cosy in here now.'

She stepped in, in just her socks, flowery panties and white camisole top. Observing that I was sitting at my table only in my pale green panties she giggled. 'You have a window open!' she observed.

'Of course.' I smiled at her from my table. She padded over and stood beside me and we both looked out at the eerie mist that hung over the ocean. 'You can hardly see anything out there,' I said. 'It's like the end of the world.'

She shuddered, only a little. 'That's scary.'

I put my arm round her and pulled her close. 'It's not,' I told her. 'We know the ocean is out there. We just can't see it right now. It's only our same old ocean waiting for us to go see it again.'

She nodded then. 'Mother says there's tea,' she said.

'Yes. Well let me finish this stupid worksheet first.'

'Stupid worksheet,' she giggled. 'What is it for?'

'English. On some stupid story.'

She giggled again. 'You hate homework, don't you?'

I nodded and turned to the worksheet, with her still in my arm. 'When it's on something I already understand, I do.'

A light knock came on my front gallery door. Without a thought I called, 'Come in.'

The door opened and Daddy stuck his head in. 'Oh. Hello. Your mother says there's tea.'

I nodded, smiling at him. 'Thank you, Daddy.'

He looked round, just his head beside the door turning this way and that. 'It's nice in here,' he said. Then he looked right at me and smiled. 'There's a fire down stairs too.'

'Excellent,' I smiled. 'Well, we'll be down.'

'Excellent.' He went out.

I looked at Lisa then. 'Should I put something on or not?'

She giggled, looking me over. 'Do you want to?'

'I'm on the fence about it.'

Jessy appeared in the other doorway then. She was-- as we might have expected-- totally bare. 'Hey,' she said, seeing Lisa standing close beside me whilst I was trying to work. 'Are you two going down for tea?'

I shrugged. 'I will... in a minute.'

'I will!' little Lisa said, and went round behind me and skipped-- really-- across my room to collide with Jessy for a hug. 'I missed you,' she said.

Jessy and I laughed. Then Jessy looked up at me, with this little girl hanging on her, and asked, 'Are you--?'

I nodded. 'I will. Daddy says there's a fire though.'

She nodded too, understanding, and went out with Lisa.

I got done the stupid worksheet on Stephen Crane (whom I hate reading), pulled on some white socks and a red t-shirt, and went down the front stairs to the kitchen room, which is in back beyond the dining room. Sure enough the fire was very cheery and Mother had tea on. Jessy came down in a long blue t-shirt which she uses to sleep in and God knows what on underneath it-- we couldn't tell. Lisa was still in her underwear too. And this is how we had our tea with Daddy and little J.J. and Mother.

Sometimes I meet people, like online, and they think there is something inappropriate about this. I can't think of one reason why it could be. My father and stepmother adore us and accept us no matter what we look like or wear or do. We are good girls and comfortable with ourselves, we are not judged, we are not scolded for exploring or enquiring or exercising ourselves as people. A pleasant afternoon tea like this is just what we deserve.

Afterwards I wandered through the unlit house, watching the night come on. Only five rooms in this whole house face west and sometimes you can miss the sunset. Out on the ocean the mist was thinning as the air cooled. I wrapped my arms round myself and shuffled through the big parlour to the side stairs and went up. In my room the fire was dying. I put in another little birch log and warmed my bare legs in front of it. Jessy came up, obviously with Lisa in tow for I heard both footfalls on the stairs and then Lisa's giggling. That girl will giggle about anything. It's a high-pitched almost sickeningly-sweet chirp that wrings a smile out of you no matter how else you can feel. It's the giggle of a happy, well-loved child who is unafraid to be herself in any situation. In Jessy's room they giggled again. I heard the bed bounce and Lisa shrieked-- Jessy likes to throw her on the bed and then press the bed with both hands, making her bounce-- 'bounce the baby on the bed' as Daddy used to play with us. Lisa still likes to think of herself as a baby sometimes!

I sat at my table and typed a little in this. Outside, the sky went dark and the air grew colder. The mist was turning to a raw rain. I leaned back in the chair and closed the window. With a sigh I turned myself to the stupid Stephen Crane story in the book.

...