What's under that skirt?

Friday 5 December 2008

Today I wore my little pleated grey wool skirt from HOH, and whilst dressing I kind of got thinking about something that will probably seem really silly to most people-- that is, most people who have never had to wear school-uniform skirts before. I have been corresponding with a nice girl from New Jersey, not far from where we used to live, who goes to a Catholic school and who told me she 'has to' wear boxer shorts under her skirt because of the boys. I didn't get that at first. She explained that when she was younger she used to wear a second set of panties outside the pantihose to help hold them up (we skinny girls will do that) and now that she is bigger and better shaped she still wears boxers, even with winter-warm tights when you don't need them for anything else. Well, I can understand that, for one thing, no one wears slips any more and it is the next best thing-- the skirt will not cling to your bottom. (Sometimes I'd really rather have the slip.) But then as my friend says the boys don't have anything to look up at.

This second point is the one I take exception to. For one thing, if anyone can see up your skirt when you're going up stairs or sitting in a chair, your skirt is too short. That should be the guiding principle. Maybe an attractively short skirt is a good thing, but if it is so short that you have to worry about modesty, then you are being sort of an idiot. Attractiveness should never compromise modesty. In fact I think it could be argued that when a lady compromises her own modesty, she kind of ceases to be a lady, or that the definition of a lady is one who upholds her own dignity whilst still being pretty and appealing to others.

There is another side of it, however. To me, being a woman, even a lady, includes a certain amount of vulnerability. A lady is always physically vulnerable. She is not as strong and is not always as securely dressed as a man, for example. She may not be able to run as fast, or as far. She may not have the arm strength to throw a good punch. The rest of her body may actually get in the way of her ability to really fight back. These things are in the nature of being female. But in all these things is the reason why she is attractive to men. A true gentleman does not seek to compete with a woman-- he seeks to complement her. He is her other side. If she is weak, he is strong. If she is vulnerable, he is her protection. It is not the role of a gentleman to take advantage of a lady's vulnerability. Instead he is supposed to value it. So long as she is protected and respected, she is a lady to him. If he were to reduce her to a common skank, she would be less attractive to him and to any other man. No man really wants a skank. So it is in any man's interests to treat a lady with respect, even with love.

All real gentlemen, of any age, know this. All ladies know it too-- we know what makes a guy a gentleman, and we all know we have to have a certain amount of trust in men in general, all men, for any one man can compromise us. I should say any man can try. A lady's modesty and dignity and reputation is never compromised by anyone but herself. Accidents happen-- a lady's skirt may blow up too high beside the bus, for example. But is that her fault? And should a gentleman take advantage of the rude manners of nature and catch a peek at what's under her skirt? Of course all men might look. But do they consider it an opportunity to learn more about what she would rather not let them know, or do they see it as an accident and think nothing more special about it?

I don't wear the boxer shorts under my skirt. I never did, not even at HOH, or should I say not especially at HOH, since it was a girls'-only school, so who was to care? Now at this big regional public school I still don't. My skirts are fashionably short but not immodestly so. As for cling I use static-guard and all is well. I know how to keep my legs together when seated and how to keep my back straight when ascending stairs. Without sounding conceited let me say that I also know how to have fun, make jokes, laugh out loud, get up and sit down and even move more than that, and I don't compromise my dignity-- and that means that my skirts don't end up being too short. Maybe it is just how I was raised. My mother was a perfect angel with Jessy and me when we were little. In her sweet way she was always teaching us how to sit and stand and say hello-- she used to have us curtsey at the altar and not genuflect, something our stepmother, when she was our nanny, learned from her too. Mommy was always telling us how to be ladies, giving us examples, praising us when we did well, and we were always thrilled when we pleased her. Being so close in age Jessy and I were inseparable-- in some ways we still are-- and we looked out for each other, like at dinners and dances and any events where we had to be at our best. Our parents were never ashamed or hesitant to take us anywhere. As we got older and especially after Mommy died we kept it up just to maintain our family's reputation. So, however crass this may sound, it is part of our obligation to our father, and the memory of our mother, and now to our stepmother too, to turn up on time, look pretty, act properly, and have a good sense of humour about it. I simply would not dream of doing anything else.

The best thing is that teachers, both men and women, most of the girls, and especially all the boys seem to have more respect for a girl who wears a skirt. Daddy likes to say, 'God is in His place and all is right with the world, when young ladies choose to wear skirts and dresses.' It is a position of power and strength, and also of great responsibility. Such is the art of being a young lady.

All right... so today I wore winter-weight tights, navy blue, and my heeled black shoes (not the maryjanes) with the skirt and a plain off-white/cream Shetland sweater. It is not earth-stopping, I know, but it's what I feel comfortable in, both physically and for my reputation. Nothing clung and nothing showed that should not have. Everyone said I looked nice today, all the usual girls and even Sean, Ryan, Jeremy, Paul... and Brett... so I suppose I was doing something right.

...