An odd observation

Whitsunday evening, 31 May

I thought of something funny but as I am about to go down stairs and watch 'Rebecca' with Mother and Jessy this will be brief (I hope). Yesterday afternoon Jessy found a box of cake mix in the cupboard and made a chocolate cake, on which she sprinkled powdered sugar and of which she then ate about three pieces. I just cut for myself a piece leaving about two pieces' worth left in the pan and thought how nice it was that we had a chocolate cake lying round here for no special reason. But, you see, this is Jessy-- during her period she becomes almost uncontrollably industrious. She rearranges her room, categorises books, paints a picture, throws two or three pots in one afternoon, shovels snow, rakes the yard... and then for the next 21 days she does little or nothing in the way of being constructive. She is a princess-- and I guess the only time she doesn't feel like one is when she doesn't feel like much of anything, you know.

I am the opposite (I think). I do nearly nothing during my time except pop Advil and read a book (or type in this). At most of the other times I tend to be eager to do things. I like this place looking nice and always help Mother. Mother has an attitude about doing chores that makes everything she does an act of love. She sings and hums and makes up silly little rhymes about the most mundane things and always says she actually has fun scrubbing a floor or folding and ironing. So I try to take advantage of that mentality.

The odd thing I thought of is that for the first time in my life I had a first date (and a second) during the most inconvenient of weeks and it never felt like an issue. We went out, we talked, we had fun, we shared the experience of being together and at no time during any of it did I feel uncomfortable at all. I have to hope that Jessy finds someone to date soon-- or, I should say, that Jessy finds someone has found her. There is great value in not having to worry about how uncomfortable you feel-- or, maybe it is that it's being able to not worry about how you feel. Aside from not being able to sun all bare-bottomed outside, I have no regrets at all about the past week. I am sure Jessy would feel the same way were she going on dates too.

Then again, if she were, we all might just miss out on having a nice chocolate cake for no special reason.

...